ENTERTAINMENT IN 2013

 

                       Entertainment in 2013

  Hey there, guys! We are motoring through the new year, and before we get too much farther, I wanted to do a very quick piece on some of the top works to look forward to this year.  This year is bringing many huge projects to the big screen and I'm going to recap the ten I believe are the most important to see.  So take notes!

  Though it's not part of the list, it is important to note for readers that "Bloodfire Quest", the newest addition from Terry Brooks is now in store.  It is a  very exciting read, with roots that are buried in the Elfstones of Shannara and the High Druid Series. The finalizing sequel is due out this summer.   Diehard Shannara fans, you will not be disappointed.  As always, Brooks shines.

  Despite not being a huge gamer, I'm also pleased to announce that Starcraft 2-Heart of the Swarm is now currently available.   It breaks my heart that the incredible storyline embedded here is limited to video game players only. Heart of the swarm is simply amazing, especially when we become immersed and personalized with the Swarm, a ravenous, brutal race known as the Zerg.  In Starcraft, the sheer brutality and insectual expendability was truly a wonderful shift from the human aspect, but they were singularily portrayed with no deeper desire other than to kill at the whims of the Overmind.  With Heart of the Swarm, we will see a very heavy, humanistic, emotional influence that will be mixed with the animalistic instincts of the Zerg. The potential for this is overwhelming.  While there are novels out there that convey some of the storyline, it does not portray the betrayal and the notions of race that Starcraft has become so famous for. Heart of the Swarm also captures the iconic and beautiful love story between Sarah Kerrigan and Jim Raynor. Perhaps one day we shall see it on the big screen...maybe one day...

  On to the article.

#10.  Oz: The Great and Powerful

 

  Coming in at tenth place is Oz: The Great and Powerful.  For most people, they would likely rank this one higher.  For me, I think that this movie by itself draws too heavily on the Wizard of Oz. The young cast of Mila Kunis and James Franco unfortunately must rely on the massively influential work of the original film.  While the movie is ultimately enjoyable and a visual achievement, the challenge for the actors lies in drawing their characters well enough that it not only will stand alone, but also will ultimately benefit "The Wizard of Oz" rather than taking away from it.  Still worth a look.

 

#9.  Kick-Ass 2

  For those who have not seen the original Kick-Ass, I will tell you that I was pleasantly suprised with this movie.  From the trailers, it seemed like a farsical superhero movie with unlikely candidates.  Upon watching the movie, I was pleased to see that the movie actually asks great personal questions regarding power and purpose, and presented a movie with a very dark edge rather than a goofy ten movie.  Toward the end, I was actually swept up with the plot and when the ending arrived with the cliffhanger, I vowed the sequel would be viewed with a much more open mind.  So here's keeping my promise.

 

#8. Hunger Games: Catching Fire

  If Kick-Ass 2 is to be watched with a more open mind, I daresay that Catching Fire will be more closeminded.  The first book/movie was more or less a success, with nods to Richard Connell's "The Most Dangerous Game".  My personal view of the books is one of overall satisfaction, with the exception of the third book.   It feels as though creativity was drying up, and with the growing trend of series writing, it became more important for the author to write another book than to create a valid ending of a story.  No doubt, the third movie of the set could actually benefit the book by capturing a much more visual and comprehensive story, but the third book alone is crap, and not very well written.  Catching Fire should be entertaining enough, and Hollywood can turn this good book into a formidable sequel.  So enjoy the second installment, and we'll see if it cannot salvage the third.

 

#7.  Percy Jackson: Sea of Mgonsters

  Although boasting a slightly more juvenile standpoint to Greek mythology, I was pleased with the first Percy Jackson movie, the story of a young boy who learns that he is the son of Poseidon, and strives to gain identity while solving a mystery. Perhaps it was because Sean Bean is Zeus...Nevertheless, I'm interested in seeing this sequel.  My wish is that the writers shed the light, comic air that plagued the first and tap into a heavier, dramatic aspect.

 

#6. Star Trek into Darkness

  Yes, I hate myself for this one.  I am a Star Wars fan, through and through.  I hate Star Trek, but I did see the first movie that came a few years back, and it was entertaining enough.  I concede to you, Trekkies, and I will watch your damn second movie...but let it be said that Star Wars and Stargate are far better in general.  I may boast an open mind, but not without drawing my line in the sand! 

 

#5. Iron Man 3

   Since the Avengers, it is safe to say we will likely be seeing much more Marvel in the future.  We are now squarely at their mercy.  Iron Man 3 is due out very soon, and to the credit of the writers, the trailer looks incredibly well done.  It may be less of the "Tony Stark" persona and may reach a much  more personal level with Downey's character building.  Regardless, if I were to guess, this newest movie is chosen for a reason: This movie should raise the stakes for the multitude of Marvel movies coming out, so they'll likely start their lineup with a bang.  Don't screw it up, Ant Man.

 

#4.  Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

   Ah, the milking of Tolkien's book "The Hobbit" should prove that we as a society are shameless.  I bet you have already seen the first one, and the general consensus is that most people were not even aware that the movie was only the first part of the book.  At least Harry Potter had the decency to say "Part One" and "Part Two" for their final pic.  As I seen this in theatre, the crowd groaned in agony as the credits rolled mid-story.  For this, I recommend that every one of those people read my column before seeing part two of the Hobbit.  Did you know that the Hobbit will also be a trilogy?  Now you have no excuse for being left high and dry with the Desolation of Smaug! 

  As for the movie, not much needs to be said.  As long as it is visually stunning and captivating as normal, the movie will have no troubles.  However, if I see any more of Frodo or anyone who is a remote doppelganger of Elijah Wood, heads will roll.

 

#3. Red 2

   Action movies are a dime a dozen.  As far as Bruce Willis is concerned, he will always be known for his roles in the Die Hard Saga.  However, I believe as an action star, Red does a much better job capturing our bald badass.  Assisted by Morgan Freeman, Helen Mirren and John Malkovich, there is really so much room for success in "Red".  The first movie had excellent writing, and the comedy was incredibly subtle and witty.  With the second installment to be released, Red 2 can only be improved upon, and my recommendation is that you watch both.  And by recommend, I mean demand.  

 

#2. Despicable Me 2

  Alas, my guilty obsession will come true, and I shall take my place amongst mothers and school-deprived children this summer.  Despicable Me 2 is sure to be a blast, despite the fact that I know nothing about the plot.  I hear talks of aliens, but does it matter?  The minions will make this entire movie, so I really couldn't care how good or bad this movie is.  Papoi.

 

#1. Thor: The Dark Worlds

   Yes, another Marvel movie.  I believe that while the first Thor was visually impressive with the creation of Asgard and the BiFrost (the thing that looks scarily like Mariokart's Rainbow Road), the movie rushed to build the characters and it was a bit shaky.  The love story between Liam Hemsworth and Natalie Portman was lukewarm at best.  Thank god, or Thor, that Anthony Hopkins was there to save the day.  Thor: The Dark Worlds should be much better, since the movie will once again feature Thor and Loki, and will likely explore the actual story with greater detail.  Coming out in November, I place my bet on Thor 2 to capture the underdog crown this year.



*Movies in the running*

-After Earth featuring Will Smith-didn't make the list due to a less than impressive trailer.

-The Hangover Part 3-While I belong to the group that believes the second was better than the first, I also believe the third will not impress.  Where will they lose a friend now, outer space?

-World War Z-Did not make the cut due to Brad Pitt as the star.  Let's hope he gets eaten.  Go Zombieland

-Man of Steel-So many superheroes, so many superman movies.  Should be ok though. 

-The Wolverine-Ditto-There are too many Marvel movies already on the list, and this would be overkill.  It would be like capturing a Rattata with a master ball.

-Anchorman 2-Please, please, please do not suck.

 

*UPDATE* MONDAY MARCH 26/12

                                                               I DECLARE WAR!

  In this issue of the Letter, I declare war upon certain things/factions/idiots that reoccur in my life.  Perhaps (and it is only a slight chance) my eternal complaining could indeed change the said issue and have it cease to come back.  But in the more likely scenario, it will likely change nothing.  I often try to promote truth, peace and awareness with my column.  Today though, I create havoc.  Ready the cannons.


Also in this issue:

"Hunger Games"  Movie Review
"Scions of Shannara" Review
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The Scions of Shannara


  We've covered the quest for the legendary sword, witnessed the rebirth of the magical tree, and destroyed the book that manipulated the world's very face.  Generations later, we find ourselves once again in the Four Lands, with a very different reality.  The History of Shannara is that...History.  We jump into the world many years later, with the Ohmsford family still connected.  The story now is tied not to one, but four members of the Ohmsford bloodline.  Par and Coll, two brothers directly descended from the line, both have very different roles.  Par still has some use of Jair's wishsong ability, and uses it to paint images about his families history as entertainment, while Coll does the narrating.  The story also focuses on Wren Ohmsford, a cousin of Par and Coll, who's prominent Elven features are a mystery, along with her past.  Lastly is Walker Boh, who remains one of my favorite characters from all the books. He is a dark, embattled enigma who would remain shut away from the world.  While each book had it's own story before, the Heritage of Shannara series is one large story comprised of four books.  (These would be the Scions of Shannara, the Druid of Shannara, The Elf Queen of Shannara and the Talismans of Shannara.)

  The story begins as the members of the family are all summoned to the Hadeshorn by the shade of the long-since gone Allanon.  Each are charged with a certain task, each with great importance, which would forever change the Four Lands.  While the evil of the Ildatch was disposed of, remnants of dark magic have manifested themselves into creatures, and these abominations of magic are known as Shadowen.  Par is charged with recovering the Sword of Shannara, while Wren is to find the missing Elves of the Westland, and Walker Boh is to resurrect the Druid's Keep and restore the Druids.  If you've read the book, you'll see the enormity of what is asked. 

 Altogether, this book leads into a fantastic series that is incredibly indepth, and it is well worth the read.  Brooks shows his continual improvement as a writer and creates so many new things in a very old world, providing both beloved familiarity and young fascination with the unexplored.

Read these books, dammit.

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Hunger Games Review

  I found myself in the Imax theatre on Saturday, trying to decide if I'm going to like this movie.  Seems like lately the world has been infatuated with things that confuse me.  I have not read the books, but I have the plotline explained to me.  If you don't want a very vague spoiler...do not read this review. 

 Apparently, and the details are left out, 24 youth are selected each year for a Fight to the Death competition, leaving the victor with prestige, glory, and food for their own division in society. Credit must be given to the writer as it constantly reminded me of Richard Connell's short story, "The Most Dangerous Game".  I found myself picking out similarities between the two quite often.

 Obviously there are some ethics problems.  The concept can be gruesome enough, but having kids from ages 12-18 doing the fighting seems almost ridiculous.  Yet the movie does it relatively tastefully if we can call it that, and it seems apparent that the moviemaking department took great care in the presentation.  At one point, I thought it was weird that the protagonist was not playing a large enough role in taking some of these other competitors out.  It was at that moment I realized my concept of social structure indeed had changed as I was so willing to accept the drastic new changes suggested in the movie.  Survival is natural and takes over social etiquette with this type of anarchy.

  As with many stories, I imagine the book was much better, and I'm sure many of the readers will agree.  There's no way it couldn't be.  Yet for one such as myself who has not read it, I found the movie very intriguing and contemplative.  Definitely worth the watch, but readers beware.

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  War Be Upon Thee...

  Join me as I take up arms against enemies that are not so traditional!  Fight with me, and I will gladly fight alongside you in battles that you deem worthy.  Also, please feel free to leave thoughts/comments/unmentioned enemies either here or on my facebook page, and I will gladly include them in the next column if I get enough response.   Fight well my friends, and May the Odds be Ever in Your Favor may you be victorious!

I Declare War Upon:

SNOW! - While you have been an enemy only recently, I am fed up with your large quantities and the fact you only come around during winter.  Why don't you come out for Stampede, cool us off on a warm day?  Your annoyance on a cold windy day leads me to assume that you are asking for me to punch every single snowflake in the face.

MCDONALDS - Over the course of my life I have ingested many of your menu items, and now that I'm eating healthier and can say that I do not even crave you is a victory in itself.  However, you must be held accountable for a wrong that you have still to this day not been held accountable for: getting rid of the famous Orange Drink.  WTF were you thinking.  Oh and when you bring that back, bring back the damn pizza.

HAIR - It's bad enough when I got hair that is not located on my head.  Do you really need to leave my cat and find my nice Calvin Klein suit every time I take it off?

CHUCK LORRE - Creator of both Two and a Half Men and Big Bang Theory, among other shows.  Obviously he is a very creative writer so I shall not fault him for that...but I believe writing Big Bang Theory was a personal assault on me.  If you look at his main characters...Leonard, Sheldon, Howard and Rajesh, their flaws are, respectively, thus.   Short, Smartass, Thinks he is funnier than he really is, and can't speak to women.  Thank you so much Mr. Lorre, for pointing out in a TV series everything that I am.

KITTY LITTER - YOU STINK

RISK - While I love the game, I hate how if your attacking you have to use two dice if you have three people.  Yes, I understand the reasoning, no you are still not forgiven.  Also, I do not believe that Greenland should be associated with North America.  It's done nothing for us.

MEN'S HEALTH MAGAZINE - You are a good read with tons of good workout and health advice.  But WHY do you insist on putting fragrance ads with these shirtless guys with mysterious looking backgrounds? No man will ever look at that and think, "Holy crap, if I spray on some Dolce and Gabbana, I'll get ripped so fricken fast!"  Put a fragrance ad that has a good looking girl with the words "If you smell good, you still have to do 200 sit-ups each day to lose that gut, fatty."

SCREAMING LITTLE KIDS - God gave me fists for a reason.

HEADPINS - Not the band.

BILLS - Monthly reminders that life can suck.

HUNGER GAMES - Doesn't have any reference to the true original hunger game, Hungry Hungry Hippos.

PUTTIES FROM POWER RANGERS - Nothing was more ineffective than the bad guys from Power Rangers.  Evil Rita would send in a batch of these clay baddies that she made with her easy bake oven every time before the monster showed up.  Why not just cook a big batch?  Better yet, make them run for congress.

KONY - What the hell is Kony?

REQUESTS - In my lifetime, I have no desire to play Farmville, Castleville, or any other crap people send me on facebook.

AMERICAN IDOL - Give it a rest.

LIKE-LIKES - Stop eating my damn shield...it costs a crapload of rupees to replace it and there is no shop in the middle of the fricken fire temple.

GAME SYSTEMS - Sure the graphics are better and gameplay more intense, but here's something.  Games back then were awesome.  My Xbox 360 just stopped reading my game, so I had to take it to best buy.  They sent it away and it was gone for 2 weeks.  If I didn't have the extended warranty, it would likely have been another large, gross bill.  Now I can play until it craps out again.    Ever have a game not read with a super nintendo?  Just blow on the cartridge and it worked again.  It's magic.

FRODO - No matter how hard I try, I cannot like him.  He's just a big Pansy.

RENTING - Would love to own my OWN place, but at this point in the road I can only afford to rent. If I met a real estate agent, he'd only be able to deal me something with the equivalent of Baltic or Mediterranean from Monopoly.  And then I'd hit luxury tax.


Thanks again for the visit, hope you all have a good week. Remember, if you guys have something to declare war on, let me know and we'll take a look!

Until next week,

Logan